Service, Service, Service

Service, Service, Service

Bank is a service organisation. Or so I thought. I had not walked into a bank for a long long time.

Two days back I walked into a Nationalised Bank branch with my friend a retiree and the Treasurer of our Residents' Welfare Association.

First we wanted to deposit some money into our Association account. The Cashier said Sorry - you have to wait because there is no connectivity!!

I pointed out to the Cashier that our account with the branch and we were in home branch. We were only depositing money. All she had to do was accept the money, affix the bank seal sign and return the counterfoil to us. She could enter the amount as and when she gets the connectivity. She looked hither and thither. Maybe she wanted to ask the Manager. After some blinking she finally accepted and gave the counterfoil.

Now comes the impossible. My friend had a self cheque against which he wanted to withdraw some money. The cashier said Impossible. I can't view your account. I can't do anything....

My friend said we should wait. I told him: Why should we?

Let us meet the Manager and ask him to allow us to withdraw.

As we walked into the Manager's cabin I shook his hand and introduced myself. He gave me a blank look as though I was from the ED. He didn't give out his name. My friend is a retiree and he is having his account in the branch for more than five years. As the Treasurer of our Association he visits the branch atleast twice a week if not more. But the manager didn't seem to recognize him!! Neither did he greet him!

I made the request and he said there is no connectivity. He said wait for five minutes. Then he disappeared. Maybe he went for prayers that nothing should happen to him if he permitted to withdraw the money.

After a while he came back and said why don't you give a missed call from your Mobile and get the balance? My friend said that he had already done that and gave his mobile with the message to the Manager.

The Manager stared at the screen. The balance was twice the amount of the money to be withdrawn.

Now he made a very bold decision. He asked the cashier to part with the money!! The cashier was delighted. Probably she thought that her name would appear in a Book of Records or something to that effect.

We have become slaves to the computer and sadly lost all of our thinking capacity!!

Now how is this Manager going to disburse loans??

God save this country!!

On-line woes!

I have been saying and I will continue to say that an air-conditioner is not a product to be bought on-line. It is more or less like a boy and a girl or a man and a woman meeting (!) on Facebook maybe after seeing the profile picture of a bright sunny actor or actress!! Most of the time or almost all the time it is not going to work out. Let me explain...

Yesterday a smart IT guy rang me up and said he wanted some doubts cleared. I told him that I would help him. First he said that he had purchased a model 155 ??? model of split air-conditioner from an on-line portal and he wanted to know the capacity of the unit. The technician who came and installed the unit was not able to explain that. I told him that the 15 in the 155 stood for 15,000 BTU and he had bought for himself a 1.2 ton capacity air-conditioner. Then he went on to say that his room size was 72 sft but there was no cooling at all even after suing the ceiling fan(!!). He wanted to know if his unit will be replaced. I assured him that his unit will not be replaced but the defect (may not be a major one) will be rectified and all he had to do was register a call in the toll free number of the concerned company.

In the afternoon another tech guy rang me up and wanted to buy an air-conditioner from me. He said that his friend had purchased an air-conditioner from an on=line portal and the unit was installed nine daya after delivery. The unit was defective and did not work and the return policy was that the unit should be returned within seven days from the date of delivery!! Ha, ha.

On-line is a web. Amazing flip!! You enter into it and a maze will be on!!

But let me tell you one thing. You want to buy a particular title of Chetan? Please buy it on-line and get it at your doorstep!!

On-line onslaught!

We are living in times when people wish to buy things at the click of a button.
That is fine. Convenient. And that is the outcome of advancement of technology.
At the same time there are certain goods which are at best bought after discussion
with an expert.
When a customer approaches me asking for an air-conditioner, I invariably ask
them two things: Which locality do you live and is it your own place?
Most people get irritated with these questions but see the logic once I explain
them the reason behind them.
Certain localities have poor to very poor voltage and I know which kind of
stabilizer will suit them. There are various stabilizers which boost from 10 to
50 volts. So if the customer takes a stabilizer which boosts 10 volts to an area
which requires upto 40 volts boosting then he will have to come back and get a
proper stabilizer (which could cost upto Rs.2000 more!).
Similarly a person buying a 1 ton unit may soon move to a place with a larger
room which requires 1.5 ton unit. He would do well to straight away buy a bigger
capacity unit.
But on the flip side I find that most sellers forget that they are in the service
business and say: Let them take what they want. If there is an issue they will
come back to us!!
That is not my cup of tea....

Digital India - Digital Sales!!

Whats up?  Digital India – Digital Sales!!

Around 4 p.m. yesterday as I was watching TV, I received a message from an unknown number.

A person had messaged me asking me if we sell water dispensers.

Yes, of course, we do.

He asked me the price (he was buying for his company) and negotiated the price.

He then asked me to send an image of the item referred to.

Once done, he gave his address and said payment will be COD.

I asked him how soon he wanted the item and he asked me if it is possible to send the

Unit at once since the morrow is election day and a holiday.

I said it is possible and the unit was delivered by 6 p.m.

You might ask what is great in this. Well all of the above happened in Whatsapp messaging

and we never spoke to each other!!! (Of course before sending the unit I phoned him and

after having some goody=goody talk told him that the unit will reach him within half-an-hour.)

Zeroing in!

Before you begin your sales talk you need to zero in.

Yesterday a customer rang me up:

Customer: Ji, muje ek ac chchahiye tha..

Me: Milagana... window ya split?

C: Split

M: Inverter ya non-inverter?

C: Ji Inverter....

M: 1 ton ya 1.5 ton?

C: Muje 1 ton ka ac chchahiye tha...

M: 3 star ya 5 star?

C: 3 star

Ha, ha. Now I have a fair idea of what is his requirement. I need to talk further to
find out if 1 ton would suffice for him....

Give me "College" air-conditioners.

A lady spoke from an Engineering college near Chennai the other day.

She said: Sir we want college air-conditioners. We are looking for ten college air-conditioners.
Give us the best price because we are buying ten units.....

I told her that there is no such thing as a college air-conditioner. What exactly is your requirement?

We want ten air-conditioners for our lab. Split units....

I told her that ten units of 1.5 ton split units will cost them approximately Rs.xxx and that
only if they are willing to pay upfront will we send our quotation. I asked her to send their
mail id by SMS.

She never came back!!

Truth - but not the whole truth!!

Yes. At times people tell you the truth. But not the whole truth.

A famous brand of appliance manufacturer had released advertisement in the print media that their appliances conform to the latest 2019 star norms. So people should not get fooled!

Ha ha. Yes Sir that is true.

But if one looks carefully at the star rating label displayed prominently in the very same ad. he will notice that the label period is from 1.1.2018 to 31.12.2019.

So much so an appliance made in early 2018 by another manufacturer also has a product which conforms to the 2019 norms!!

Having said that we see Kwality Walls ads. proclaiming "more CREAMIER". Agreed but theirs is not an ICE CREAM!!